Picking a Husband
by abby-sarajane
Summary: What do Amazons do when they want husbands? Well... two kidnapped Seto and Jou and a few others... read the Author's note inside... There is no point to this fic. It is pure humour. Enjoy.


A/N: This is on crack. Humanities-fed crack. Pay absolutely no attention to it and do not take anything it says seriously. **Nicole-purple** and I wrote this on the way to/during Humanities. It all started because she was wearing gold wristbands, for her Marik costume, which we commented made her look like Wonderwoman. But then we got on the subject of Amazons, and how the hell they reproduced, because there weren't any men on the island, and they didn't like adopting outsiders. So we decided that they abducted worthy men. :: grins:: Meet the worthy men. Characters are Seto, Jou, Seth and Kiefer (Jou's yami from my little world). Also, yours truly, **nicole-purple**, and brief cameos by another roommate of ours, and Yugi and Yami. Welcome to the crack.

The taller and shorter Amazon were fighting again, while the shortest one looked on. It wasn't the first time it had happened. It wouldn't be the last.

"I want the brunette!"

"No, _I_ want the brunette!"

"No, _I_ want the brunette!"

"But _I_ want the brunette! _I'm_ a brunette!"

"_So am I!_"

"I want the blonde!"

"No! _You_ can have the midget!"

Yami promptly glomped Yugi. "_Mine_!"

An irritated sigh. "Fine, you can have _both_ of them."

"Yay!" The shortest Amazon dragged the Pharaoh and his aibou off.

Seto smirked to himself. _They all want me._

"Fine. I get the blonde, but I also get the brunette's twin."

"What? _No!_ I get them both!"

"Look, you take one brunette, I'll take the other, you take one blonde, I take the other."

"Weeeeeelllll..."

"Can't we all just... get along?"

"Shut up, Seth, I wanna see how this all turns out!" Jou's face was rather red as he leaned against a tree.

"Why do _you_ care?" Seto snapped, smirking smugly. "Nobody wants you! They all want me!"

"That's not true!" Jou shot back. "They only want you for your money!"

"I don't have any money," Seth said rather arrogantly, leaning against a tree as well. "They just want me for my sexy body."

"Shut up Seth!" Jou snapped. "I'm sexy too! I have broader shoulders than he does! Doesn't that make me more desirable? More manly? Am I not attractive?"

"No."

"_Die_, Kaiba!"

"Shut up, all of you! We're deciding!"

"I have shorter hair than he does!" Seto pointed to Jou.

"Only in the _back_!" Jou yelled back.

"What the hell does _that _have to do with anything?" The shorter Amazon snapped at them. "Don't confuse us!"

"We're just going to let them take us by force?" Kiefer asked suddenly, in a quiet voice. He had a habit of blending into the background.

Seto glanced at him. "Are you _really_ going to try and fight them?"

"Um... well... no?"

"Then why are you complaining?"

"Do we get a choice in this at all?" Kiefer tried to make his own soft voice heard.

"No," both Amazons replied at once.

He promptly curled up. "Ok..."

"Ok... so... pick one blonde and one brunette."

The taller Amazon grabbed Seth. "Mine!"

"Dammit..." The shorter one grabbed Seto. "Ok..."

Jou smirked at Seto, who flipped him off. Seth was smirking. "Oh, I _am_ desirable, aren't I?"

"Shut up, Seth," both Jou and Seto said as one.

The shorter Amazon grabbed Jou. "Then I get first pick of the blondes... This one's mine."

The taller shrugged. "No problem." She grabbed Kiefer, who eeped.

"Um... M-Master Seth..."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Kiefer, we're together, after all..."

"True..."

"I am _not_ doin' it while Kaiba's watchin'" Jou proclaimed instantly, and very loudly.

"Oh, damn." Seto said dryly.

"Was that sarcasm?"

"Maybe."

"It damn well _better_ be..."

"Who said anything about Kaiba _watching_?" She shorter Amazon had a distinctly evil smirk on her face. "You will both be expected to... _perform_."

"..." Jou sweatdropped slightly.

"..."

"..." Seth burst into hysterical laughter. "Kiefer and I too?"

"Yes."

"Oh, joy!"

"You're a pervert, Seth," Jou remarked.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Bastard..."

The taller Amazon dragged Seth and Kiefer off. "Enjoy!"

The shorter one smirked. "Oh, I will..." She dragged the other two off.

A/N2: Yeah... enjoy the insanity. We certainly did... And I'm the taller, **nicole-purple** is the shorter.

**Nicole-purple-** :: snorts;: Beh. I win.


End file.
